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Dominant submission/Submissive dominance

My friend Howard likes to be tied up. Or down. He explained, “I spend my days telling people what to do, and when I have sex, I don’t want to have to make any choices.” We were fond of each other, respected each other, but were ill-matched for romance. I haven’t seen him in quiteContinue reading “Dominant submission/Submissive dominance”

Conservative values

“I have conservative values,” said M’s profile. What does that mean? I begin by thinking this person doesn’t like gay people, single mothers, and people on welfare, tries to limit his sex life, and is a Republican. I asked M. what he meant by that, and he answered that he tried to live his life,Continue reading “Conservative values”

Doing Nothing

I spent New Year’s Eve sitting cozily in bed reading a book, Saving Fish From Drowning, by Amy Tan. It was lovely. New Year’s Day I went to a Danish friend’s house to join her family for a Danish smorgasbord. That was lovely too. A year ago I would have been lonely, depressed. I feelContinue reading “Doing Nothing”

The harder they fall….

Celibacy corrupts. A man contacted me yesterday. He knew how to spell, which is alway a surprise on the internet, and was eloquent and amusing, cultured and clear. We wrote of our families, our careers, our travels, in a literate way. I was interested. I spent too much of my morning writing to him. IContinue reading “The harder they fall….”

Sex tomorrow morning

My profile has been on yahoo.com for I don’t know how long.  It’s free so what the hell.  Every year or so I update it.  Three weeks ago I talked on the phone with someone who had found me on yahoo.  He is a real estate developer and has a farm where he raises racehorsesContinue reading “Sex tomorrow morning”

Love as Luxury

Is love a luxury? Last summer a man I liked “poof” disappeared, leaving me grumpy and sad, so I responded to a married man who wanted company at the theatre. He said he and his wife had drifted way, way apart, and they had renegotiated their marriage contract, meaning she had said she wouldn’t askContinue reading “Love as Luxury”

Dating Married Men: What Are the Rules?

Maybe the institution of marriage is failing. Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, and many of the rest of them aren’t in good shape. The institution as a whole deserves re-thinking, and the rules surrounding it deserve re-thinking. Should I observe the conventional rules and avoid dating married men, or should I view eachContinue reading “Dating Married Men: What Are the Rules?”