growing old

Stories from the nursing home — wedding vows after 63 years

My friends Kit and Julian Caplan were married for 64 years. Kit died a few weeks ago, and today was the memorial service. I couldn’t stop the tears when I embraced Julian, who is a prince of a man if there ever was one. The people who remembered Kit at the service mentioned what allContinue reading “Stories from the nursing home — wedding vows after 63 years”

Life's secrets

“Do you mind me asking you something?” “No. Go ahead.” “Do you have sex?” The woman asking me was about 45 years old, a friend of my younger daughter, who was standing right there. My daughter had just told her that I was a newlywed, at 66. “Of course!” I didn’t want to be cuteContinue reading “Life's secrets”

Sleeping together

In a bar watching the Giants win a game in the football playoffs, we were sitting at a table opposite a couple who were watching the television behind us, while we watched the television behind them. She was never more than a few inches from him — his shoulder, his head, his hand, his leg. Continue reading “Sleeping together”

Precious love

Love is precious, though many people don’t act as if it were. For all my adult life, I have sought love, and now I have found it. My definition of “love” might be different from yours – what I have sought is the completeness and serenity which comes when you feel you are not alone,Continue reading “Precious love”

Clinging to things

I love my back yard. I’ve lived here alone for almost four years now, and my mother lived here for 40 years before that. I work every day at my desk, which looks out over the tops of the rhododendrons outside my office window onto the grass, the mass of trees — I only knowContinue reading “Clinging to things”

My book blog

An intelligent, deep, experienced, and articulate author can take us outside of ourselves, and give us context. More and more, it is only poets who can reach deep enough to pull me out of my self. Patrick Lane is a Canadian poet and writer. What the Stones Remember: A Life Rediscovered is his exquisite accountContinue reading “My book blog”

Doing Nothing

I spent New Year’s Eve sitting cozily in bed reading a book, Saving Fish From Drowning, by Amy Tan. It was lovely. New Year’s Day I went to a Danish friend’s house to join her family for a Danish smorgasbord. That was lovely too. A year ago I would have been lonely, depressed. I feelContinue reading “Doing Nothing”

Bob Dylan

I’m breathless from the Bob Dylan concert. He is a superb musician, with a keen eye for good side men. The words were mostly incomprehensible but it didn’t matter. The kids, teenagers and college kids, who were there mostly sat in their seats like stones. Their parents were grooving. Even when music of an assaultContinue reading “Bob Dylan”

Eulogy for Louis

I have finished two bottles of Tsingtao beer, turned on a CD of Stephan Grapelli and George Shearing, and danced around the living room with the lights out so people passing on the street couldn’t see me. I am dancing, mourning, over my beloved friend Louis, who died of a massive heart attack in August,Continue reading “Eulogy for Louis”