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People from total strangers to close friends often say, “It must have been cathartic to write the book,” or “It must have been sad to write the book. Did you cry a lot?” The answer to both questions is no.

Life Without My Husband, Day 8

My husband Terry is on a three-week Australian road trip with his best friend, and I took this opportunity to spend a weekend of retreat at the Kripalu Center in Massachusetts. There were mostly women there, which got me thinking. A recent radio science program featured a segment about how the male chromosome is sheddingContinue reading “Life Without My Husband, Day 8”

Life Without My Husband (Day Three)

Today was Thanksgiving. My daughter and I feasted at the assisted living home where my aunt Jean lives — a mild, merely warm repast. Jean gets more frail every day. There were several people there who had no visitors. Dorothy (a pleasant, tidy woman who spends her day doing Sudoku in the sun room) wasContinue reading “Life Without My Husband (Day Three)”

Life Without My Husband – Day Two

I had trouble getting to sleep on my first night alone, but once there, I slept longer than usual.  I forget — were queen-sized beds meant for two people or only one? My childhood friend Suzy’s parents had two queen-sized beds. All the parents I knew had twin beds separated by a little table, justContinue reading “Life Without My Husband – Day Two”

Life Without My Husband (Day One)

I have just kissed him good-bye, so I don’t miss him yet.  He’s still sitting in the airport, or going through security.  I’m grateful that the big storm that’s coming tonight held off until he left. Driving back from the airport, I could feel my context shifting. I was starving and now I could eatContinue reading “Life Without My Husband (Day One)”

Nothing is lonelier than a bad marriage

From inside a warm, supportive marriage (preceded by two divorces), I am being reminded these days that nothing is as lonely as a bad marriage. The person who once embodied your dreams has become an empty husk, turning to them becomes a masochistic punishment, yet there is nowhere else to go. In a crumbling marriage,Continue reading “Nothing is lonelier than a bad marriage”

Stories from the nursing home — wedding vows after 63 years

My friends Kit and Julian Caplan were married for 64 years. Kit died a few weeks ago, and today was the memorial service. I couldn’t stop the tears when I embraced Julian, who is a prince of a man if there ever was one. The people who remembered Kit at the service mentioned what allContinue reading “Stories from the nursing home — wedding vows after 63 years”