life after 60

Life's secrets

“Do you mind me asking you something?” “No. Go ahead.” “Do you have sex?” The woman asking me was about 45 years old, a friend of my younger daughter, who was standing right there. My daughter had just told her that I was a newlywed, at 66. “Of course!” I didn’t want to be cuteContinue reading “Life's secrets”

Sleeping together

In a bar watching the Giants win a game in the football playoffs, we were sitting at a table opposite a couple who were watching the television behind us, while we watched the television behind them. She was never more than a few inches from him — his shoulder, his head, his hand, his leg. Continue reading “Sleeping together”

Precious love

Love is precious, though many people don’t act as if it were. For all my adult life, I have sought love, and now I have found it. My definition of “love” might be different from yours – what I have sought is the completeness and serenity which comes when you feel you are not alone,Continue reading “Precious love”

My legacy

I have begun to think about my legacy. Brooke Astor just died at 105, and if I live as long as she did (a dubious goal) I’ll have 40 more years, but not all of those years would be productive ones. My children are a big part of my legacy, and I also would beContinue reading “My legacy”

Clinging to things

I love my back yard. I’ve lived here alone for almost four years now, and my mother lived here for 40 years before that. I work every day at my desk, which looks out over the tops of the rhododendrons outside my office window onto the grass, the mass of trees — I only knowContinue reading “Clinging to things”

Every woman's dream man.

Women dream of men like Bill. He is tall, thin, good looking, competent and capable (and thoroughly solvent). He can dance. Strength, courage, decisiveness, discretion, insight, generosity, tolerance, loyalty, optimism, appreciation and understanding of others, discipline, manliness, love of sex. He has a slight New York accent, a degree from the Wharton School, was aContinue reading “Every woman's dream man.”

The harder they fall….

Celibacy corrupts. A man contacted me yesterday. He knew how to spell, which is alway a surprise on the internet, and was eloquent and amusing, cultured and clear. We wrote of our families, our careers, our travels, in a literate way. I was interested. I spent too much of my morning writing to him. IContinue reading “The harder they fall….”

Eulogy for Louis

I have finished two bottles of Tsingtao beer, turned on a CD of Stephan Grapelli and George Shearing, and danced around the living room with the lights out so people passing on the street couldn’t see me. I am dancing, mourning, over my beloved friend Louis, who died of a massive heart attack in August,Continue reading “Eulogy for Louis”

Love as Luxury

Is love a luxury? Last summer a man I liked “poof” disappeared, leaving me grumpy and sad, so I responded to a married man who wanted company at the theatre. He said he and his wife had drifted way, way apart, and they had renegotiated their marriage contract, meaning she had said she wouldn’t askContinue reading “Love as Luxury”