From inside a warm, supportive marriage (preceded by two divorces), I am being reminded these days that nothing is as lonely as a bad marriage. The person who once embodied your dreams has become an empty husk, turning to them becomes a masochistic punishment, yet there is nowhere else to go. In a crumbling marriage,Continue reading “Nothing is lonelier than a bad marriage”
Tag Archives: married life
Who does the dusting?
I love Joli’s comment to my earlier post that “if behind every great man is a woman, then behind every great woman is not a man who steps up to dust, but a housekeeper.” “Equality” in housekeeping has been, in my experience, an empty word. Just looking around me, if the woman doesn’t like toContinue reading “Who does the dusting?”
Husbands and crutches
I just hobbled to my desk, hugging two crutches under my left arm so I could carry a mug of hot tea in my right hand. I broke tiny bones in my foot and this is what I am reduced to. Fifteen years ago I badly sprained my ankle and had to commute to theContinue reading “Husbands and crutches”
Stories from the nursing home
I have to stop writing about the nursing home. People don’t want to read about them. Do they? I can’t promise this will be my last story from the nursing home, but I can’t resist. I have been visiting my aunt in a spacious, sunny, clean, pleasant, friendly place which would not, by the way,Continue reading “Stories from the nursing home”
Stories from the nursing home — wedding vows after 63 years
My friends Kit and Julian Caplan were married for 64 years. Kit died a few weeks ago, and today was the memorial service. I couldn’t stop the tears when I embraced Julian, who is a prince of a man if there ever was one. The people who remembered Kit at the service mentioned what allContinue reading “Stories from the nursing home — wedding vows after 63 years”
My few minutes of fame…
Discovery Channel is doing a program in collaboration with the Kinsey Institute about the sexual habits of Americans. What REALLY goes on in America’s bedrooms? My husband and I are representing the 70-year-old contingent, and went across the river to a hotel in lower Manhattan where a “studio” had been set up in one ofContinue reading “My few minutes of fame…”
Sleeping together
In a bar watching the Giants win a game in the football playoffs, we were sitting at a table opposite a couple who were watching the television behind us, while we watched the television behind them. She was never more than a few inches from him — his shoulder, his head, his hand, his leg. Continue reading “Sleeping together”
Personal time
Giving up personal time is, for me, the worst part of living with someone. Every movement is touched by concerns about him — what would he like, what does he need, what would he enjoy? Including thoughts of the other in everything you do is what love is all about. Speaking personally, finding myself withoutContinue reading “Personal time”
Every woman's dream man.
Women dream of men like Bill. He is tall, thin, good looking, competent and capable (and thoroughly solvent). He can dance. Strength, courage, decisiveness, discretion, insight, generosity, tolerance, loyalty, optimism, appreciation and understanding of others, discipline, manliness, love of sex. He has a slight New York accent, a degree from the Wharton School, was aContinue reading “Every woman's dream man.”