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My Four Rules for 2016

This afternoon I went to a restorative yoga session . Perhaps I was meant to be listening to my breath during the meditations, but instead I came out of it with four rules for the new year.
Protect myself
Do my job
Seek moments in which to receive and to give kindness
Seek new experiences
In that order.

Life without my husband

I’ve been married for six years. We’re both in our 70s and aware that we won’t be celebrating a 50th anniversary. With luck, a 20th. We talk about our prospects sometimes, and he surprised me once by saying, “I hope you go first because I want to be here to take care of you.” ThoseContinue reading “Life without my husband”

Technology update

The rules of romance are changing and our moral compasses are inching this way and that in order to accommodate these changes. In another 50 years, the world will be a different place. I am hoping that within the next decade or so technology will be easier to manage as well. We’ll begin with sortingContinue reading “Technology update”

Divorce in California

During a visit to California, I witnessed the end results of a mismatch which has spawned a divorce. Though I have been divorced twice, my divorces were not the result of a simple mismatch, but of abuse and mental illness, so they are no yardstick for measuring the California system, but I’m qualified to giveContinue reading “Divorce in California”

Stories from the nursing home — wedding vows after 63 years

My friends Kit and Julian Caplan were married for 64 years. Kit died a few weeks ago, and today was the memorial service. I couldn’t stop the tears when I embraced Julian, who is a prince of a man if there ever was one. The people who remembered Kit at the service mentioned what allContinue reading “Stories from the nursing home — wedding vows after 63 years”

Publicity for Writers: Fie on four talking points

A friend caught me up with the latest in publicity strategy: have four talking points and be sure to get around to them in every interview. No matter what questions they ask you. Why is it that the appearances I remember on Johnny Carson are the times when Orson Welles did magic tricks. Yes, IContinue reading “Publicity for Writers: Fie on four talking points”

My legacy

I have begun to think about my legacy. Brooke Astor just died at 105, and if I live as long as she did (a dubious goal) I’ll have 40 more years, but not all of those years would be productive ones. My children are a big part of my legacy, and I also would beContinue reading “My legacy”

Clinging to things

I love my back yard. I’ve lived here alone for almost four years now, and my mother lived here for 40 years before that. I work every day at my desk, which looks out over the tops of the rhododendrons outside my office window onto the grass, the mass of trees — I only knowContinue reading “Clinging to things”

What to do with lingerie?

“I’m forty years old, and I never knew what to do with this stuff,” said Stephie after trying on a teddy and a long slip that had been part of my mother’s trousseau. My mother was married in the early 1930’s, and her family was wealthy enough to provide her with the best of everything.Continue reading “What to do with lingerie?”