Older women

Losing connections

We are renting a condominium right on the water at Sea Ranch, about 150 miles above San Francisco. I have been going to sleep when I get tired instead of when a particular television program ends, usually about 9:30 or 10:00. In the early morning, I turn over in my bed and look at theContinue reading “Losing connections”

Our Children Are Not Our Children

This is a photograph of my grandchildren looking out on the Pacific Ocean. They have their backs to us, and that is appropriate. As Kahlil Gibran writes in his poem On Children: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. …….. You may house their bodiesContinue reading “Our Children Are Not Our Children”

Thank you, Maggie Smith

The best thing about Downton Abbey is Maggie Smith. For me, it goes farther than simply appreciating a skillful, wily acting job. She has become my role model for getting old. Seeing Jane Fonda, all slick and slim, depresses me. Yes, I could do that with unlimited financial resources and unlimited appetite for slimness, whichContinue reading “Thank you, Maggie Smith”

On being 71

A few weeks from my 71st birthday, here are some thoughts. Everybody has arthritis. Dr. Gerard Malanga, an outstanding doctor who advised me on a painful shoulder, said, “Everybody has arthritis after a certain age. The question is, ‘Does it hurt?’” My arthritis hurts only occasionally, and for that I credit my other best-doctor-in-the-world, VolodymyrContinue reading “On being 71”

Writing and activism

Some people march in demonstrations, or knock on their neighbors’ doors, or serve in soup kitchens; I write. I believe I should use some part of my abilities for the good of a larger community, and why not use my best developed talent? My blog Linguistics in the Writing Classroom is read by about 450 peopleContinue reading “Writing and activism”

Stories from the nursing home — wedding vows after 63 years

My friends Kit and Julian Caplan were married for 64 years. Kit died a few weeks ago, and today was the memorial service. I couldn’t stop the tears when I embraced Julian, who is a prince of a man if there ever was one. The people who remembered Kit at the service mentioned what allContinue reading “Stories from the nursing home — wedding vows after 63 years”

Old love

Louis Begley had a lovely essay in the New York Times yesterday, on page 5 of the Sunday Review if you’re attached to the hard copy of the Times, called “Old Love” if you’re digital. He begins by remembering when he was 39 and wondering whether his beloved would still look beautiful to him when she had wrinkles and greyContinue reading “Old love”

Life's secrets

“Do you mind me asking you something?” “No. Go ahead.” “Do you have sex?” The woman asking me was about 45 years old, a friend of my younger daughter, who was standing right there. My daughter had just told her that I was a newlywed, at 66. “Of course!” I didn’t want to be cuteContinue reading “Life's secrets”

Grandpa and Grandma need snuggles, too

My church asked me to teach their sex education curriculum. It was difficult to find that fine line between telling too much and telling too little. My two fellow teachers and I laughed with each other over the fiction we were creating that we knew enough about sex to tell others about it. We knew aboutContinue reading “Grandpa and Grandma need snuggles, too”